A lot of times I will be pressed with the question, "if I have a doula then what is the role of my husband?"
To this I have a beautiful answer- "Fathers and doulas' are meant to work together!"
A father's role is HUGE! But remember that this is a very big moment for everyone and it takes a lot of different roles to take care of what a laboring woman needs. Part of my job is to 'teach' and then 'assist' a spouse in following through with what their role is. My role then becomes whatever you need from me whether that is simply rubbing a back, getting water and food, breathing with the mother, making phone calls, anything you need that your spouse can not do at the time becomes my job. And sometimes dad's want to do the simple jobs, like getting water or ice chips and my role then becomes coaching breathing and relaxation, massage, etc. That is perfectly okay and normal. This is a new experience for dads as well. They need to feel important and involved too.
This page is for dads. Please read the following true testimony's from fathers in which I was their doula and hear what they have to say about what I was able to do for them. Remember dads, this is a moment that you and your wife will never forget.
For the birth of our second child, my wife and I decided to work with a doula, and for that role we chose Candace Plummer. For our first child we hadn’t really been satisfied with how things went during the late pregnancy, labor, and delivery. We wanted a different experience, a better experience. Directly after our first child’s birth my wife was confused, nauseated, disheveled, and sore. After our second birth, with the help of Candace, my wife was alert, excited, happy, and sore (Some things can’t be avoided!). Because of Candace’s guidance, we felt much more confident when labor began. My wife and I both attribute the difference in births to us being more knowledgeable and more comfortable with the whole process, and that level of knowledge and comfort was largely attained through Candace.
One fear I had about using a doula was that we would be pushed to do things a certain way or do things we didn’t want to do. I was very pleased to never have felt that way while Candace was working with us. One of the most helpful things for us was meeting several times over the course of a few months prior to my wife’s due date. We asked Candace questions and she asked us questions that got us thinking about things that we wouldn’t have thought of otherwise. Besides the planned meetings, Candace also made herself available at any time that we had questions or concerns.
I did not feel that Candace’s role in any way diminished my role as a husband to help my wife during labor, she was merely another part of the team and another resource.
-Mr. Kauth (Daddy to Finn)-
Being a first time dad, I didn’t really know what to expect during the pregnancy and especially the birth. My wife and I both wanted to do a natural water birth if possible. I knew very little about this, so I was open to the idea of hiring a doula to help us. It was probably one of the best decisions we made during the pregnancy. Candace was great. We met with her a couple of times prior to the birth and she supplied us with a lot of information and helped teach us what to expect. After just one meeting with her, I already had greatly increased my comfort-level. The natural water birth was not in the cards for us due to some complications with the baby. Candace took all of this in stride and continually impressed me with her knowledge of the process even when it became apparent that we would have to have a cesarean. She was there to help and inform every step of the way and I know that my wife and I were both much more relaxed having someone with her knowledge level and skills in the room at all times. I don’t know if we will have more children or not, but I do know that if we do, Candace will be there.
Thank you again for all of your help and God bless!
-Todd (Daddy to Kian)-